2010 DECEMBER

Guru Maharaja Ganeshaji Ji Jai!!
Well, again I am late--- very late- Infact, I have been thinking to blog for some time now but still somehow "pass" the time -though easily could have managed to write down!First of all, would thank GURU MAHARAJA GANESHA AND KRSNA for bestowing me with another cute daughter!!Savy and "chotti gauriya" is keeping fine (2nd december)..Hmm there is slight "bend" in the foot-which apparently will take atleast couple of years to heal.I am sure Krnsa will take care of this.Well surprisingly I was really not disappointed at all as everyone expected a boy so that family could be completed for me (One boy/One girl) but god has different plans and espcially i feel lucky that inspite of all my worst deeds , ganesha maharaj and krsna has been very kind to bestow with me two beautiful daughters!I also wondered that we are three brothers but still what special we have done for our father and mother !Infact, girls think much more for their parents!Anyway, feeling quite "elderly" as have two kids to care of!Has been quite dramatic year for me .Personal relationships have been not so great,not earning on my own still- although ganeshaji helped me to start new venture. Know have to be patient !Sometimes feel is running out and have immense pressure and at times feel that i have to give my best and god will take care- success and failure is not in my hands so why should in worrry! I really crave or desire material things even after gettting any wealth(if at all) but just want to make my parents and wife happy-(this is the least I can do for them).Lotsa things have happened over past one yar- I really put in lotsa efforts this year to get settled somehow- but know my destiny and karma knows what "material success" I m entitled to get..

Btw, I hope the personal relationship gets better very soon- Feel empty at times -dont reall want to get into arguments etc but when these happen -gets emotinally very weak! And to make matters worse I resort to may be "wrong" shoulders-Sometimes feel how worse I have become that instead of relying on Krnsa I am looking to satisfy my own senses!!

Anyway, i really do want to VRINDAVAN for year end and then spend new year eve with my wife-!Lets c..

Logging off now-I am really again loosing spiritual inclination again- Really devotees,devotees sanga is only way to be on your toes in an otherwise MUNDANE selfish WORLD!

Guru Maharaja Ganesha ki Jai
Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare!!

Dukhalaya...

Guru Maharaja Ganeshaji ji Jai!
Since meeting with "SUNIL " prabhu,i m feeling spiritually charged up! I am shocked that even someone as greedy and lusty as me -d worldy desires have almost been thrown out of window!Really do believe that SUNIL PRABHU is an EXALTED DEVOTEE.This is really a personal experience of GLORIES of DEVOTEES!Also, meanwhile - there have been lotsa of issues on personal front which is really remiding me that this world is full of misery and temporary. Loss of cousin dada along with altercation with pregnant wife on everything is just making me blank. It seems as if my wife cant understand and she has vice versa feelings, Its been 6 full days since I have spoken to her as she has decide not to talk till the time "I AM SETTLED"..I really care for her and wantto avoid any issues with her but still dont why these and from these crop up!In the past few days I have sent her 2 letters,cake ,bouquet and of course all my best wishes to her but it seems nothin is just stopping these..I am dejected nd disappointed but i am always reminded that this world is full of misery -why do i expecthappiness all the time- My marriage life has been "very sad" to say d least FOUR YEARS have gone by - i know that everything is destined-our previous karma and this birth karma is giving us the "Sad" FRUITS. of course,how can i forget "Two" HORRIBLE things?? Still,i believe Krsna has been very kind and that inspite of my karma -we are endowed with beautiful child!I am desperate to go to VRINDAVAN-just need darshan of KRSNA RADHA- Also, day after tomm is purnima- also i wud like to go before savita gives birth to child- lets see whats KRNSA has planned?I KNOW m not SETTLED yet but.. I know m puttin in everything- DESTINY IS THE GREATEST DECIDER- I KNOW WHEN TIME WILL BE CORRECT THINGS WILL GO FLAWLESS- OF COURSE,I HAVE TO KEEP ON WORKING /TRYING AS RESULTS ARE NOT IN OUR HANDS- actually its amazing when u leave to KRSNA - i have felt this in last one week- i have to just do my best-keep trying- why shud i bother for things not in my hand? Last week 2-3 times i consoled myself -hey why r ur anxious over something u cant control?leave it to lord!and it worked - i mean results were positive-!"SARVA DHARMA PARITYAJA ,MAM EKAM SHARNAM BHAJAH"...

Guru Maharaj Ganesh ki Jai!May he kindly continue bestowing me with krnsa smaran and
wisdom..

Hare Krsna Hare Krsna,Krsna Krsna Hare Hare
Hare RamaHare Rama,Ram Ram Hare Hare!!

Ram Ram

Guru Maharaja Ganesha ki Jai!
Today is "DHANTERAS" and well a lizard fell on my back- hmmm lets see if its meant to bring sum good luck? as per beliefs?
Well certainly I am spiritually charged up for last 10 days -all thanks to "SUNIL PRABHU"whom I met @DELHI for plaster of paris business. This is really amazing -EVEN a small interaction with a devotee can purify your heart!! I am looking forward to DIWALI night and hope Ganesha Maharaj will be merciful in letting this soul do "VISHNU SAHASRANAAM" throughout..

Signing off- HARE KRSNA HARE KRSNA KRSNA KRSNA HARE HARE,HARE RAMA HARE RAMA RAMA RAMA HARE HARE!
RADHE RADHE

Next 6 months

Guru Maharaj Ganesha ki Jai!
Sri Krnsa Govinda Hare Murari ,hey nath narayana Vasudeva!
Well- I could not think of a more appropriate heading than this- Just had an slight altercation with W..I could not fulfill her little demands inspite of utilizing resources! I told her that 4 years have been pretty bad between us and now things willbcome better after april 2011!(acc an astrologer told me and I as strong believer in destiny -that if you have bad times then you will have better times as well)- Her immediate response was wish to leave this world! I was kinda not taken aback as have heard her wish times and again in the past 4 years due to huge differences between us as well as circumstances around..( Dhukalayam ashashwatam..-BHAGAD GITA) -this world is temporary and full of misery !! But krsna also says that every single living being goes thru phases of happiness and utmost sadness- its the way you react to these situations determines your karma-and destiny!

I told W that I belive in "thakurji" and know that after bad times good times dawn and hence I will keep my composure. Further,my staunch faith in astrology also cemented the fact that I am certainly not going through a "good phase" of my life- specially when it comes to "W"- prediction are that after 9/04/2011 -things will really become better for me! I really thank God and was amazed that although apparently I had bad 4 years but still I gt married,had a baby,started a new line and to top all-basic necessaties of life were always fulfilled to the fullest desire!

As I mentined in my earlier post- that I did "FOUR HORRENDOUS MISTAKES" in past 4 years - "TWO of which I believe" will accounted by "YAMARAJA" at the time of death! But still after doing all the "PAAPS" -guru Maharaj Ganesha has kept my faith in God- I know its very ironic that at one end I am talking about Paaps and other side faith in God but its TRUE!Although of course my Krishna Consciousness has rellay dwindled -and my mind wanders about keeping my body well- lust for worldly desires! but still somewhere there is a small place in heart which has kept the flame of "godness"intact..

Anyway, will sign off now and well it will be interesting to see if GANESHA JI and Krsna do
really have plan to make things better between MYSELF AND "W" OR "W" desire is taken care of.....

Guru Maharaj Ganesha ki jai

Hare Krnsa Hare Krsna ,Krnsa Krsna Hare Hare
Hare Ram Hare Ram,Ram Ram Hare Hare

Hari Bol!!

Radhe Radhe!Now this is simply naustalgic...I am reading this blog after 30 months!..and god..so much has changed...I have definately become immensly materialistic and my Krishna Conciousness has only declined..I am father of one baby girl ...

As I am writing this, I am remembering manchester days and krishna consciousness.May lord ganesha gives me remembrance to remember krsna all time..!
I cant believe that I have changed for "BAD" soo..much..

Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare,Hare Ram Hare Ram Ram Ram Hare Hare..

Hey Govind Hey Gopal!

Hey Govind Hey Gopal!...It seems I am hearing this beautiful glory of god after such a "long" time...Its almost one year since I am married..I am tottally lost in this cruel world-money,relatives,ambitions,ego---I want my manchester days back..Hey guru maharaj ganesha-pls guide this foolish soul to take shelter of krishna....

The only truth is krsna-rest all is a mirage of krishna-

Radhe Radhe!Guru Maharaj Ganesha ki Jai!

Hare Krsna!!!.......

Hari Bol!!...I am sooo happy to be on my blog after succcch a long time...almost after 8-9 months and must say...life has completely changed...its like being on a roller coaster ride.Biggest change is of course from status of being single to now that of a married one.,,!All this time...had many many realisations but only thing was put those on this blog...

Anyways,now if i go back to september and see myself in mirrir now...there has been lot of
(degrading) changes,,My conciousness is no more what it was in manchester,,but the only saving grace is that I am still chanting hare krsna mahamantra ...by the mercy of Guru Maharaja Ganesha...

Will sign off now..and make sure that I update this blog atleast once in week..

All glories to Guru Maharaj Ganesha!Om Gan Gan Patye Namah

Hare Krsna Hare Krsna Krsna Krsna Hare Hare
Hare Ram Hare Ram Ram Ram Hare Hare

Radha Rani ki Jai!